In case you were thinking of making up your own really weird holiday day, it may already kinda exist.
Today is everyone’s favorite wacky holiday: Make Up Your Own Holiday Day.
Popular culture has already come up with some mind-benders.
Want to create a Christmas Halloween combination? Done. Halloween in Summer? Done. 4th of July combined with The Purge. Come ON.
Jack-o-melons and loser candy? Hell, yes.
The T.V. episode night gets more complicated when a monster that Dipper accidentally insulted makes them fulfill his candy quota by the night’s end or else he will eat them.
Whacking Day (May 10) is the day where everybody beats snakes to death with clubs. At least, on The Simpsons.
The episode revolves around the fictional holiday “Whacking Day”, celebrated annually, in which the citizens of Springfield drive snakes into the town square, then club them to death.
The episode is not FOR the mistreatment of snakes. It was written in response to the real-life Rattlesnake Roundup, an annual ritual held in Texas, where the townspeople beat rattlesnakes with sticks.
In fact, the episode ended up winning a Genesis Award.
Weasel Stomping Day
If it’s June 31st, you know what that means: It’s time to put your Viking helmet on, spread mayonnaise all over your lawn and stomp some weasels!
Ever since American treasure “Weird Al” Yankovic immortalized the holiday in a 2006 song — then teamed with the “Robot Chicken” guys to make a ’60s-holiday-special-themed video — Weasel Stomping Day has become as American as apple pie and Kid Rock.
Fun fact: Last year, Weasel Stomping Day cards even outsold Christmas greeting cards. At least, that’s according to Weird Al’s Wikipedia.
Wait a minute, what do you mean there are only 30 days in June?
Decemberween (also called X-berween and D’Ween) is a holiday celebrated by the people of Homestar Runner 55 days after Halloween, on December 25.
Lights are lit, Christmas carols are sung (incorrectly) and everyone sits down to a traditional meal of bunnies.
The origins of the holiday are complicated, involving at least one Angel, two Kobe Bryants, the Santa Claus-like Dr. Christmas, a sailor named Archibald, and The King of Town.
In the Old-Timey days, Decemberween is described as “the most sanitary time of year”, and was celebrated by piling up all the dead rats one has accumulated over the year.
Sadie Hawkins Day
Sadie Hawkins Day was a Pseudo-holiday that originated in Al Capp’s classic hillbilly comic strip, Li’l Abner (1934–1978).
If a woman caught a bachelor on Sadie Hawkins Day and dragged him, kicking and screaming, across the finish line before sundown, by law he had to marry her.
This inspired real-world Sadie Hawkins dances, where girls ask boys out.
According to the Old Farmer’s Almanac, Sadie Hawkins Day has long been celebrated on November 15 of every year.
Futurama’s version of American Independence Day is celebrated in 3000’s Earth.
Freedom Day is defined by the saying: If you wanna do something, you do it, and to spleckh with the consequences.
On this day, anyone is more or less allowed to do anything in order to express freedom. This includes nudity as well as ignoring and hurting others without the fear of facing the consequences.
The traditional Freedom Day chant is “Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy! Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!” while performing a sort of Hopak dance.
Australian Christmas is celebrated in Team Fortress 2.
Every December 18th, “Old Nick” returns from the South Pole to find out if Australia’s children have been naughty or nice.
The nice children are given the greatest gift of all — they are not kidnapped along with the naughty ones and carted off to the South Pole.
For the next twelve months, the naughty children make toys for Old Nick.
With all these gifts, there are bound to be duplicates.
Every December 18th, Old Nick posts the rejects online, selling them at prices so low that he’s practically giving them away!
Hurling Day, from Jim Henson’s Dinosaurs, is an ancient dinosaur tradition.
Established by a wise but aging dinosaur chief during the days when dinosaurs roamed in tribes, Hurling Day served to prevent elderly tribe members from slowing down the pack and allowed them to depart the mortal coil with dignity.
Thus, upon turning 72, old dinosaurs were to be ceremonially pushed off a cliff by their closest family in a loving and respectful manner.
Hurling Day soon became popular, however, as a means by which husbands could finally take revenge on their mothers-in-law.
Lady Hewitt Smythe Day
The characters on Mike, Lu & Og can’t quite remember who Lady Hewitt-Smythe was, but she was a person who did a thing, so she has a day now.
But it doesn’t really matter who she was, for, on her day, the children celebrate by playing “The Big Game.”
And that big game is croquette – played on top of elephants.
Siobhan is a freelance writer, research addict and lover of twisted history. If you like horrible but amazing history, check out her website www.interesly.com or Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/interesly. Or you can reach her through www.siobhanoshea.com.